Yes, You Can Find Calm Inside This Chaos.
Hello, you. You, the beautiful one balancing so much these days. You who can barely breathe – it all feels like too much. I know. You love your babies so deeply. You care about this world so passionately. You feel all the feels all the time, and you can’t get the space to be YOU with nothing attached … I see you. I feel you. I’m with you.
And when I say I feel you – I mean it. I feel you. I feel it all, all the time, and it is exhausting. Like each of you, I’ve been on a journey. I’ve traveled down into the underworld and back up again, more than once. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, debilitating illness, and a near constant sensory over-stimulation that leaves me feeling out of control at times.
I get it.
I can also say that every time I’ve dipped into the underworld and had to climb my way back out, I’ve emerged with more grace, more awareness, more presence, more access to the divinity within. Every time I find greater trust in my own intuition to lead me.
I’m an extremely Highly Sensitive Person, and so, to navigate these challenges, I’ve had to develop numerous practices, rituals, and habits to nourish my mind, body, and spirit. I’ve needed to release myself from the rules that I lived by, give myself permission to feed my soul, and to offer myself grace over and over again. Only then can I nourish my family with inspiration and clarity – and never before has this nourishment been so necessary as is now.
These times have amped up sensitivity in so many of us. Whether or not we identify as HSP, current times are broadening our vulnerability, our range of emotions, and reshaping our priorities. Beyond that, as mothers, we are naturally attuned to other people’s needs – sometimes come at the cost of our own. I want to help you rediscover your own voice and to listen to it above the noise of all else. I want you to know the divine radiance inside you. I want you to use your sensitivity as a super power.
It’s time. The world needs you.
Later, after the birth of my son (now 10) and daughter (now 8), I found myself needing to discover a way out of postpartum anxiety and depression, which served to add to my repertoire of methods for self-acceptance and a truer self-love.
Even so, chronic fatigue, bouts of illness, depression, and anxiety have woven their way in and out of my life for years. I’m no stranger to feeling low – the complete exhaustion and shattered heart of a nervous system who has felt too much.
At times, people don’t get it. People who are not highly sensitive can’t understand that my brain and all my senses are neurologically programmed to pick up on every minute detail around me. My sensory stimulation is on overdrive – all the time.
It is literally the way I’m made. I can’t turn it off, as much as I would like to.
So I’ve had to develop tools to maintain my physical health, mental stability, and spiritual inspiration. I’ve turned the most challenging part of my being into my most valued asset. I listen to the messages my body sends me – whether it be a stomach ache telling me something is wrong, fatigue reminding me to restore and replenish, or a jittery feeling calling my spirit back to meditation. My finely tuned ‘mother’s intuition’ allows me to tap into my children on a deep level – giving me the ability to support them in a holistic manner, being certain their spirits are thriving as well. I prioritize my love affair with the arts, with beauty, with the world around us, as I’ve learned the hard way that if I plow through the monotony of mundane tasks I travel dangerously close to depression. I’ve learned to light up my space on this earth with my sparkle, to access my Divine Light, so that I can show up as the best version of me I can be.
My desire to live fully connected with my mind, body, and spirit led me to write my first book: There Was Supposed To Be a Baby: A Guide to Healing After Pregnancy Loss. I’ve created and facilitated workshops and retreats for grieving mothers. I am a certified yoga instructor, with added certs in yoga for kids and yoga for fertility. Additionally, I hold a BA in Elementary Education, an MA in Special Education, and have worked with countless children ages 2-10.
More recently, I’ve been unwinding from the limiting beliefs that hold us back from shining, the “rule book” so many of us mothers live by. I’ve been deconstructing and rewriting the rules, and healing on an even deeper level. Finally, in a realization that I was attempting to qualify as a ‘good mother’ by sacrificing my inner sanctuary of well being, I learned to let go, to surrender, and to accept and honor the authentic bits of me who hid in the shadows.
Over the course of this work and life in the past few years, I’ve released myself from many of the rules, harsh judgements, and self critical behaviors that were keeping my heart from wholeness and alignment. I’ve learned what true self-care looks like – what compassion for self and soul can do to change a life. I’ve quieted the inner voice that tells me I’m not enough so that I can hear the one that guides me to connection and joy.
I want you to feel this way too. Lighter. Loved. Aligned. Grounded. Clear. You can. A life of full hearted passion you’ve been imagining is waiting for you.